[x]

Suicidal LullabyDon't cry now baby,
you're almost dead.
The tears are flowing
from what they've said.

Rivulets of red
from wrists you've slit.
You had tried so hard,
but couldn't quit.

You're all alone now;
your friends have gone.
Your heartbeat's slowing;
you won't see dawn.

Your life fades away
with ev'ry breath.
You are too far gone
to escape death.

Wipe away your tears,
and be at peace.
You're so close to
final release.

Tired of being sad.Real men don't cry, they say
Well maybe their right but
I'm stuck with dry eyes

And maybe I'm not right for her
She still sits brokenhearted
And I'm all out of tries

But your life
is worth the price
of me losing my mind

So if you start
to see me smile
Its not a sign
that I'm over you

I see you running through my dreams again
(Happens every night now)
I toss and turn at what we could have been
(I'd stop if I knew how)
It just strikes a nerve, the thought of you out with another man
Holding his hand
And you may ask me what I smile for
Maybe you think I'm happier
With you gone.

I'm not smiling 'cause I'm happy, no
I'm smiling 'cause I'm t

Just In CaseYou can dig up a grave
If you think you can wake the past
But what's the point
You're just opening old wounds
It's like sitting by a bomb about to blast

For someone who claims no death wish
You could have fooled me
But I guess you already have
There's nothing about you I'll miss
Like how you can't see

And here comes another pointed finger
But who's really to blame
You can't bring yesterday back to life
If the dead have already lost the game
But you can revive the ghosts
Violent spirits with a grudge
How the hell will you survive again
Your point of view hasn't even budged
In a court where I've become the judge
Face it
You're screwed
While y

No Regret“No Regret” Original Song Lyrics 5/12/13

The candles flicker
One, then two, then
Thousands more
They’re the memories in all of us
That shine brighter than the hurt in us
Life’s road is beaten down and rocky ahead
But just repeat this before you go to bed

Remember your past
Don’t ever forget it
But move on to the future
To a life you won’t be regrettin’

Put down the razor
It won’t do you any good, girl
Untie that noose, man
You can put it to a better use in this
Crazy world, we all got our certain demons
And we all got our own ways of dealin’
But sometimes those ways
Only build and build

White wolf, White flower"They say there's no such place as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it’s always the same road. It just goes on and on... But in spite of that, why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me. It says, 'Search for Paradise.'"
-Kiba
He stops to listen intently to the earth
it tells him the purpose of his birth.
A story so long and sad
when it’s over, you’ll be glad.
He pricks his ears, the wind shifts
he hears a voice that drifts.
A lunar flower is his search
Cheza, more beautiful than the trees of birch.
Arctic wolf, Lunar flower
the clock strikes 12 at the tower.
City so polluted, city so dark
how he longs for the sound of a harp.
Search for Paradise they will seek
or will it all turn in vain while we weep?
Endless deaths awaken the agony of sorrow
the pain, the losses, the tears never ending until tomorrow.
A cloud once white now stained with red
every dream you once had read.
Weep we

I want to be with youI sit here alone, thinking of you
about the time that we shared, about the things we used to do
But now I'm alone and it's starting to show
How did I get here? Do you already know?

I want to be with you... but it won't happen
I want to be with you... but I can't seem to take action
It always seems that you're just passing through..
So how can I be with you?...

Time goes by and still I'm here
Yet you start to go and disappear.
How do I get your attention or do you already know?
That I want you here.. I don't want you to go...

I want to be with you... but it won't happen
I want to be with you... but I can't seem to take action
It always seem

Once Upon A NightmarePain the world never knew and yet has forgotten
Scars where blood once ran free
Time to finish what I started
Once upon a nightmare

Do I feel
Do I bleed
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to see

With every shot at my will
You take my breath away
But you don't give it back
Ready, set, go for the kill

Do you know how many times
I've tried to wipe my mind clean
But you keep adding dirt and grime
To my very own murder scene
Not that you see
Not that you care
Not that you even know me

Do I cry
Do I scream
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to see

So often falling to take it
Just another worthless life
Everything's is not oka

Invisible ManAs I make my way through everyday
I feel the empty presence
The stories I hear fill my head with fear
And a hatred of burning rage

Don't even try to make amends
Before your life of pity ends
Never wanted me, got no sympathy
I just can't take the pain

If there was a time when your evil mind
Wasn't filled with ice and stone
Well, now it's too late to disintegrate
So just leave me alone

Don't you dare think that I'll bend
To that stupid silly trend
No happy ending waits at the end of the lane
'Cause I just can't take the pain

I don't know where you went, but you didn't repent
For your sneaky dirty sins
Just a fear-powered coward, living in a

renegeon the wings of a gossamer shimmer
a nearly undetectable shiver
you hesitate to pull the trigger
one too many in the chamber

inside a delectable silence
testing the limits of your compliance
vague back-talk, uneasy defiance
love’s not love without the violence

no grace
no dance
you don’t get a second chance
you just get to get
out of my way

just so you know
my stance
this was not a romance
this was a game you didn’t know
how to play

on the back of unsteady denial
a priest, a sinner, a saint, a bibliophile
go ahead, put me up for trial
I won’t stop tilting the vial

no light
no sheen
you’re as heady as a dream

Broadway Specials: Ave Lillian

Verse I:

Vercelli’s pulling out his wand
Blinking too slowly when I see you’re gone.
I hear a voice screaming in my head
(Chaos I think we’ve got a problem)
Where does everybody go when they go?
What do you believe, there’s no way to know.
We hate so fast and we love so slow.
(Juggernaut I think we have a PROBLEM!)
Sit down and think about it
Still on the brink of doubt and
I finally click about it.
My world’s spinnin’

Chorus:

Ave Lillian.
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
How did you know to get out of a world gone mad?
Help me let go.
It’s my fault that she’s bleeding.
His words are misle

Why my friend...Thrashing, I'm faint
I just could not take this pain anymore
Holding onto that only hope

hope that you will come very soon
Where are you now?

I'm so lonely.

But you don't want, don't want to return.
Why my friend?

Angry at you-
I regret that I believed in you

Stay here my friend,
I don't want you to go
Come now, my friend

my friend.....

The Mother of LossA boat called hope on a sea of fear.
It’s the mother of let down,
and that’s what brought me here.

I let go of your hopes.
I let go of mine.
I let go of all those
unbound by time.
If it’s gonna happen
It’s gonna happen either way.
Whether I want it to
or not.
Whether I can stand to stay.
I’m looking for something new.
Preferring what I know
the one closest to me,
the closest one to you.

I’m so far gone, I’m so far lost.
I lost control and I paid the cost.
I’ve been here too many times,
and I’ve said that before.
Dying for hope,

I'm reaching out to you momI'm reaching out to you mom,
I don't know what's going on
in your world anymore
and it scares me.
I love you no matter what,
stop,
re-read that.
I mean it mom.
It's hard to take every moment
and go with it,
but you gotta stop.
Just stop and breath ahh.
And yes i'm writing this to a beat ahh,
that's when i have my feet
and the whole wide world beneath em.
Just lookin' out breathin' yeah,
this is how it is now like
life gave me a loaded gun
blOWE
just know no matter what mom ill
always have a spot in my heart
to carry on the best in you,
it's what i can do.
And i don't know how
but i'll find a way to
carry your memory
to infinity and beyond.

TwilightTwilight

When you see the age showing on my face
Please don’t hide your eyes
When you feel the weakness in my embrace
Please don’t feed me lies
I’ve lived my life, I’ve done my due
I’ve done it all and grown old with you

I’ve fought my battles and gave it my all
I’ve taken the beatings and I’ve stood tall
I’ve taken every hit and caught every curve ball
Now it seems it’s finally my time to fall

And so I ask the only favour I ever had
Here in the twilight before the final night
Would you stay beside me and hold my hand?
Would you stand for me and be my light?
If you see me losing s

WaitingI was ready to die, that's no lie
But then you went and caught my eye
You gave respect, never neglect
But then René stole me away

I wasn't there when you needed me
I didn't help set you free
I missed the simple signs
Went and crossed too many lines

When I came 'round
You didn't make a sound
You weren't mad
For the time I never had

The happiness came back and a little more
You never wanted to show me the door
As we laughed, we also cried
Made it feel like I had died

You never let me down
Even with my persistent frown
You've always cared
And we're both so scared

This painful distance is a curse
But at least we can rehearse
To make o

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From This Moment OnThere were a lot of things I never said. I never told you that you were my best friend. I saw the moon this morning. As bright a moon as it was back then. It still hung in the sky before setting along the horizon as the sky grew blue. I stood amazed at her beauty, your beauty, before I grabbed my camera, desperate to capture the moment. I still feel like I'm falling, my knees dropped beneath me and turned to nothing. I will never forget that. I don't remember any fireworks. I only remember gazing upon the brilliant moon. Pale faced and shining. You said "Goodbye". How I begged and pleaded. I think I will always blame him for not driving out that night. A part of me still wonders, what is Grace doing today?
Today marks an equillibrium of sorts. Fifteen years ago, on your fifteenth year. Tomorrow will be fifteen years and one day. And today is almost gone.
Did I ever tell you how m

Around the World in Six WordsDays 45-78: The Bermuda Triangle...

Three

Magnificent & Proud, You are Beautiful.
Blood of three as one,
Invincible.
Radiant & Shining, We are strong.
Blood of one in three,
Inseparable.

Perdition's GatePerdition's Gate lives on forever, my Brother.
Forever, the Smiler, the storyteller,
the entertainer, sophisticant and aficionado.
Farewell, perhaps we will meet again at Perdition's Gate.

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Submitted: May 19, 2012
Submitted with: Sta.sh Writer

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Our Shattered Lives

Sat May 19, 2012, 3:40 AM

Our shattered lives
Are shadowed lies

Too many skeletons in our closet,
lies lay buried
She thought she'd taken
the secret to her grave.

Whoever said that what
you don't know can't hurt you
never knew, never knew
the truth.

It burns into your soul
not knowing what's missing.
The pieces don't fit...

Into our shattered lives
are shadowed lies
Our shattered lives
are shadowed lies!

14 Comments

Our Shattered Livesby `GillianIvy

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Songs & Lyrics

This song is about a family secret that tore my life apart when I found out I had an older brother. I rejoiced and cried. This was the second time I learned I had a brother I never knew. This time, the secret was an awful one. A dark and twisted one. My Grandmother knew the truth but kept it from us. She died without telling us that he was my brother. I felt betrayed. Perhaps she thought the truth was too painful, and it was. But not knowing hurt us worse than anything else. Birthdays, Christmases, holidays, all these things. I'm overjoyed to have an older brother. I just wish it wasn't shrouded in lies and betrayal and so much hurt. My family is split. One Aunt doesn't believe the paternity test. The other doesn't want to believe the circumstances are true. My brother embraces our mother as his Mom. And my sister and I are welcoming him to our immediate family.

It's hard to describe how I sing this song. I purposely sing "Our shattered Lives" and "Are shadowed lies" to sound like the same verse and inflection to symbolize how they are the same thing. I belt this song out at the top of my lungs when I'm doing the dishes and no one is home. That's my writing method... I kept changing the lyrics until I settled on these ones. I had many other verses that weren't really in the pattern before. I tried to record it once, but it was the utter fail. Maybe sometime I will sing this. My voice is raw and emotional. And I would likely have a kid in the background making lots of noise.

I don't normally submit my written poems/songs. One because they are sung, and might not be best 'read' when it's meant to be heard. And two, because most of them are not typed out, but are instead on paper and buried in a box along with my youth. I wrote more than 20 songs from my teenage years to my early 20's. Not so many now. I enjoy solitude to create my songs, and usually are only written in times of severe emotional strife. Some of the songs I have memorized and may be submitting here in the future.

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*makepeaceart May 23, 2012 Professional General Artist

Powerful! Strong emotion always bring it out.

`GillianIvy May 23, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I know. I tried to write a happy song once

~GemmaSuen May 19, 2012 Professional Digital Artist

Oh, what a nice song. I thought it was just a poem at first. Perhaps it would be nice for you to record it, maybe all you need is a good mic? I would be way too embarrassed to do so myself, probably would get an instrument to play out the tune instead. Glad things are looking for the better now!

`GillianIvy May 19, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you! It helps to write and draw, since it is an outlet of all the emotions. I'm friends with my Brother, and we try to be family. I'm just not very good at it, since I have a pile of unmailed things from last Christmas....

*TehAngelsCry May 19, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

"Our shattered lives
Are shadowed lies"

These, are the best!
I actually find them difficult to read, because they sound so similar in my head - but that's also what makes them amazing!

If I found out I had an extra sibling, I seriously would not know how to react... how do you greet someone you know you're related to, yet are still a complete stranger to?

`GillianIvy May 19, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

This happened to me twice. When I was 12, I learned my Dad had a son, who was three years old. My heart was broken and overjoyed. I wasn't raised with my little brother, but so glad to have him. Then, when I was 30, I learned I had an older Brother. He was raised by my Grandparents as their own. My Mom had a trauma, she was gave birth when she was 12 and no one believed her. She was haunted by the dreams for years. she asked her brother to do a paternity test, when the results came in, they announced it to the family. My Aunts were both devastated by this, my other Uncles both were accepting. One Aunt has come around, the other refuses to talk to my Mother. My Mom was called a liar her entire life. They thought she was crazy. Finally, she has proof of the abuses she suffered.

My life is like this, an ongoing soap opera. Seriously, fiction is not so much drama. I should write a book.

I'd be a millionaire with an insane life.

*TehAngelsCry May 24, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Do it

I'd buy it! People love real-life stories xP

~CybOrSpasm May 19, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I think it would be quite special to hear you sing this... Perhaps a private you tube video, with a link only given on DA? };] Just a thought...

`GillianIvy May 19, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Then you'd see me sing....

hahaha! Yes, I've considered recording it, and maybe will. Maybe get my bf to take my kid out of the house while I do it so we don't hear "Mommy, I want to sing" in the background, followed by the "Doodle song" That is his gibberish language. He calls it Doodle Language.

~CybOrSpasm May 19, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Ah, the secret make a film of him first, let him sing something alone, make a big show of everyone having to be quiet while he sings. Then oonce he's done, you say that it's your turn, and now he is in charge of keeping everyone quiet while *you* sing! }:] Worth a shot anyway! LOL!And who knows, the "Doodle Song" may be the next big internet sensation/meme! Just imagine Oprah/Ellen (or whoever it is currently, I don't watch TV.)here we come!

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