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Submitted on
May 19, 2012
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6 (who?)

Our Shattered Lives

Sat May 19, 2012, 3:40 AM
Our shattered lives
Are shadowed lies

Too many skeletons in our closet,
lies lay buried
She thought she'd taken
the secret to her grave.

Whoever said that what
you don't know can't hurt you
never knew, never knew
the truth.

It burns into your soul
not knowing what's missing.
The pieces don't fit...

Into our shattered lives
are shadowed lies
Our shattered lives
are shadowed lies!

This song is about a family secret that tore my life apart when I found out I had an older brother. I rejoiced and cried. This was the second time I learned I had a brother I never knew. This time, the secret was an awful one. A dark and twisted one. My Grandmother knew the truth but kept it from us. She died without telling us that he was my brother. I felt betrayed. Perhaps she thought the truth was too painful, and it was. But not knowing hurt us worse than anything else. Birthdays, Christmases, holidays, all these things. I'm overjoyed to have an older brother. I just wish it wasn't shrouded in lies and betrayal and so much hurt. My family is split. One Aunt doesn't believe the paternity test. The other doesn't want to believe the circumstances are true. My brother embraces our mother as his Mom. And my sister and I are welcoming him to our immediate family.

It's hard to describe how I sing this song. I purposely sing "Our shattered Lives" and "Are shadowed lies" to sound like the same verse and inflection to symbolize how they are the same thing. I belt this song out at the top of my lungs when I'm doing the dishes and no one is home. That's my writing method... I kept changing the lyrics until I settled on these ones. I had many other verses that weren't really in the pattern before. I tried to record it once, but it was the utter fail. Maybe sometime I will sing this. My voice is raw and emotional. And I would likely have a kid in the background making lots of noise. :giggle:

I don't normally submit my written poems/songs. One because they are sung, and might not be best 'read' when it's meant to be heard. And two, because most of them are not typed out, but are instead on paper and buried in a box along with my youth. I wrote more than 20 songs from my teenage years to my early 20's. Not so many now. I enjoy solitude to create my songs, and usually are only written in times of severe emotional strife. Some of the songs I have memorized and may be submitting here in the future.

Featured skin is lit skin design for :iconinnocencedied2nite:
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TeaPhotography Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Professional General Artist
Whoa... The song itself, of course most defintely...what fabulous lyrics, and the story behind it...
is one of those that tests courage, strength, faith and all of the "big ones"... :huggle:
GillianIvy Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much.  I still have not found any quiet way to record this one.  Maybe hide myself with the laptop in the garage.  ;P
makepeaceart Featured By Owner May 23, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Powerful! Strong emotion always bring it out. :hug:
GillianIvy Featured By Owner May 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I know. I tried to write a happy song once :lmao:
GemmaSuen Featured By Owner May 19, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Oh, what a nice song. I thought it was just a poem at first. Perhaps it would be nice for you to record it, maybe all you need is a good mic? I would be way too embarrassed to do so myself, probably would get an instrument to play out the tune instead. Glad things are looking for the better now!
GillianIvy Featured By Owner May 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! It helps to write and draw, since it is an outlet of all the emotions. I'm friends with my Brother, and we try to be family. I'm just not very good at it, since I have a pile of unmailed things from last Christmas....
TehAngelsCry Featured By Owner May 19, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
"Our shattered lives
Are shadowed lies"

These, are the best!
I actually find them difficult to read, because they sound so similar in my head - but that's also what makes them amazing!

If I found out I had an extra sibling, I seriously would not know how to react... how do you greet someone you know you're related to, yet are still a complete stranger to?
GillianIvy Featured By Owner May 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This happened to me twice. When I was 12, I learned my Dad had a son, who was three years old. My heart was broken and overjoyed. I wasn't raised with my little brother, but so glad to have him. Then, when I was 30, I learned I had an older Brother. He was raised by my Grandparents as their own. My Mom had a trauma, she was gave birth when she was 12 and no one believed her. She was haunted by the dreams for years. she asked her brother to do a paternity test, when the results came in, they announced it to the family. My Aunts were both devastated by this, my other Uncles both were accepting. One Aunt has come around, the other refuses to talk to my Mother. My Mom was called a liar her entire life. They thought she was crazy. Finally, she has proof of the abuses she suffered.

My life is like this, an ongoing soap opera. Seriously, fiction is not so much drama. I should write a book. :B I'd be a millionaire with an insane life.
TehAngelsCry Featured By Owner May 24, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
Do it =p I'd buy it! People love real-life stories xP
CybOrSpasm Featured By Owner May 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think it would be quite special to hear you sing this... Perhaps a private you tube video, with a link only given on DA? };] Just a thought...
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